A Normal Adult

Huzzah!

I'm a normal, working, adult now!!

(Well... let me correct that statement,  I now have a real life job :) 

Don't worry, I'm not suddenly normal because I have a job and I probably still don't act like an adult. I'll just have to quench my inner child more often now that I won't be exclusively working with kids.
I decided to take a break from school this semester to work more hours and think about where I want to go with schooling when I return. The only problem with my little plan was that I didn't have a steady, every-day job.

Thanks to the encouragement and motivation of several friends, I've been pursuing a part-time position with First National Bank of America for the last couple weeks. After a few tests, interviews, and signatures I started working this afternoon. It felt soooooo good this morning to wake up and think "I have a job!"

I got ready to go and left the house this morning with plenty of time (due to the few inches of snow we've been accumulating all day, I felt it a good idea to give myself some extra time). I felt good and excited and ready... then half way there my tire went flat. It was as flat as flat can be! I thought it blew because of how quickly and completely it was gone. I was right in front of a parking lot so I pulled in and assessed the damage. It wasn't pretty. There was no way I was going to make it on time now. Usually in these situations adrenaline hits me and I have to talk myself into laughing instead of crying... or crying instead of laughing. I always do the wrong one. But I felt so numb. All I said was, "You've got to be kidding me!" I wasn't emotional at all, just kind of meh!

I called my mommy. Who called Mrs. Arnold. Who was a hero and picked me up and brought me to my first day on the job and I was only 15 minutes late! Thankfully they were totally understanding and flexible. After getting a run through of the building, people, and situation I got to start my training. It all went by rather quickly. I was slightly overwhelmed with the amount of information but I hope I'll get used to it soon. Once I learn the ropes it should be smooth sailing.

My mommy picked me up after I finished and told me the van situation. Turns out when the outside air gets really cold, tires sometimes lose pressure. When tires lose pressure they can sometimes slip off the rim and lose ALL pressure. Which is what apparently happened when I went over the railroad tracks. Anyway the marvelous people at the Haslett Vision Collision (and the marvelous hero Mrs. Arnold) worked to fix my tire for me. It just so happened that they were working on another set of tires so they filled mine back up and lined it back up and put it back on my van and didn't charge us a thing! It blessed me so much... and it was amazing to see God's hand at work through that whole thing. I am truly truly blessed and so very thankful!

My grown-up schedule for the next week is pretty varied and works well around my nannying jobs. 8-12, 5:30-9, and 8-5. But I am excited to learn a whole lot more and to make some new friends. The people at First National are super friendly!

Identity Crisis

money. clothes. style. car. job. friends. goals. attitude. tradition. education. family. success. failure. 

What defines you? 

This is a question that I have been trying to answer in one way or another for a number of years...

I remember being nine or ten and hearing Ben play one of my piano songs quite proficiently the first time through after I had just sat there and struggled through it for the 17th time. Not long after that, I forced him to sign a contract with me that said he wouldn't play any of my songs and I wouldn't play any of his. (I obviously did this for my benefit and not his so that he wouldn't get ahead of me.) Eventually, I realized that his musical abilities were far and above anything I could ever do and I destroyed our little contract. I am exceedingly proud of him now and the apparent gift he has been given for music. It's amazing to see Samantha developing her musical abilities first with the flute and now piano, William has been getting increasingly better at the violin and Timothy just recently picked up the cello. I guess the musical gene missed me.

Music was clearly not my thing... 

But that was my problem, or so I thought. I never had "one thing" that defined me or motivated me. Even though it was about six years ago, I still remember the day that my mom found the song 'My One Thing' by Rich Mullins for me after I was especially feeling like I didn't really have anything that was "special" or "mine". She encouraged me to remember that having a special talent or gift or calling outside of Christ is absolutely futile and pointless. Even people that do have amazing abilities and gifts can use them in a way that doesn't bring glory to Christ.

And she has been right about it every time since then too. I still find myself sometimes absentmindedly searching for one thing that defines me other than Christ. But nothing else satisfies. Not good academics, not friends, not a herd of cattle and the idea of farming, not photography - nothing I do in and of myself satisfies the longing inside me to have an identity. 

It is easy to compare myself to those around me, which leads to believing in the lies of insecurity and insufficiency, which leads to sometimes forgetting who I am in Christ and what God has done for me. It is a quick snowball effect that rapidly tries to steal away my joy and contentment in Christ. It is the world's identity theft. It's important to often remind ourselves and each other that God knows who we really are and that He loves us and created us for a purpose!

Every time I feel a pity-party-identity-crisis coming along to steal, rob, and destroy I need to take a step back and realize that my identity is not in the clothes I wear or the shoes I buy, or  in the musical abilities that I wish I possessed... it can only ever be in Christ and His finished work on the cross! 

2 Corinthians 5:17-21 

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

Winter Photophobia

Yes, I created that term, at least I think I did... "winter photophobia"means that I am legitimately afraid of taking pictures in the winter. First of all, I rely on taking 95% of my pictures either outside or using fresh, outdoor light streaming through a window. And secondly, I don't work well when I'm cold. Traditionally, I have taken quite a break from photography from December through April (or whenever it stops being frozen and nasty outside!)

Last year I took some pictures in January, after our one-and-only snowstorm. This year I decided to attempt to do a little more. So despite my freezing fingers, wet toes, the lack of sunshine (resulting in dull gray light), and me trying to avoid the little wet flakes of snow that so badly wanted to land inside my lens (which for some reason freaks me out), I forced myself to go outside once and that was all it took. 

I fell in love with the way that snow adds depth to a picture... especially when it is actively snowing! It makes me think of Narnia :) I've managed to do quite a few winter photo shoots since then. And funny as it sounds, I'm actually missing the magical white fluff that melted away in the rain yesterday.

Hopefully I'll get some more opportunities this winter to, once and for all, conquer my winter photophobia!

(almost) A Hallmark Movie Moment

Ben and I joke about Hallmark movies a lot... basically if you've seen one, you've seen them all. They are all ridiculously sappy and pathetic, and Ben likes to jokingly tell me that I just need a Hallmark movie to happen to me in real life. 

Last night Ben told me that there was a gift for me from a friend in my dad's car... I grabbed my boots and ran outside. It was really dark and the lights from the house were casting creepy shadows on everything. (Now for those of you who don't know me very well, I should tell you that I have a really vivid imagination.) As my foot hit the last stair coming down from our porch I heard a noise in our yard. I looked up and all thoughts of what was in the back of my dad's car vanished as I saw the outline of a coyote. It was standing between our house and garage just 20 feet away from me. Its ears were perked and I knew it had seen me. I think my heart stopped beating for a full second. Then adrenaline kicked in and I jumped up the seven or eight stairs in one leap and slammed the door behind me... turns out, long legs are good for something!! 

As I tried to catch my breath I looked behind me and staring at me through the glass door was the coyote... wagging her tail and looking curiously inside. Obviously, after I saw the bright red collar and noticed that it was a dog not a coyote my heart began to return to a more normal pace. My mom brought her in and since news travels quickly in this house, everyone was soon crowded in the front hallway with the "coyote". We called some neighbors and no one knew whose dog it could be. After giving her some water, we let her back outside figuring she'd return home. This morning we found her curled up on our porch. We let her back in and she was super good with the little kids. As my mom called some animal shelters to ask if anyone had lost their dog, Ben jokingly said, "Maybe her owner will be an 18 year old farm boy... *wink wink* Hallmark moment!!" 

I didn't care if it was an 18 year old farm boy or not, I just asked, "If we don't find her family, can we keep her?" I've wanted a puppy for a long time... and since I didn't get one for my birthday or Christmas I thought this might be the perfect answer. The kids had already named her "coyote"... due to the heart attack she gave me last night and Samantha and Bethany had played with her outside for half an hour running through the snow and being adorable!!

Sadly the words has just left my mouth when the phone rang. Her family had just moved from a massive farm in South Dakota and "Bootsie" hadn't gotten used to the fact that she didn't have as much land as before. They came and picked her up within minutes. Seeing their pure jubilation in reuniting with their puppy made me slightly less sad in saying goodbye to my Hallmark dog. Hopefully, for them it ended up being a perfect Hallmark moment... 

...Bootsie was a cattle dog too! Maybe someday, when I live on a farm I'll get a puppy like her.

Crazy Calhoun Traditions (and other randomness...)

The last few weeks have been a whirlwind of activities: Christmas parties, shopping, friends, traditions, sickness, and so much more. It has, for the most part, been super fun. 

I've been able to hang out with some friends over this break. I went to Brighton for an afternoon to meet up with Lauren Williams. It was super fantastic to just catch up with her and it felt like we picked up where we left off. 

I also went to Battle Creek for a few days to hang out with my "Olanbuddies" (named after our mostly-mutual appreciation of Olan Rogers videos). We got to see the Hobbit in IMAX (not really a great IMAX movie but it was fun to see it with friends) and just get a chance to hang out before break is over.

My mom counted and we ended up having six Christmas parties. Between grandparents, great-grandparents, aunts and uncles, youth group, and CLCC it was quite a Christmasy time! 

Needless to say it has been pretty busy around here. I listened to a bunch of Christmas music over the past month and one of my favorites is Amy Grant's 'I Need a Silent Night'. It talks about the craziness of the season and how sometimes you just "need a silent night.... a midnight clear, a little peace right here to end this crazy day with a silent night". There were several times during these past few weeks where I sang those lyrics to myself and wondered if silent nights still exist. For some reason, the "normal" Christmas feelings I typically get never came. It all felt kinda surreal and different. I kept remembering how things were in years past and wondering why its different now. It was still great but it just felt so strange. 

We did get to continue some of our crazy Calhoun traditions though... with new twists of course! When there is snow on Christmas we try to go sledding in the morning before we do anything else. This year there was enough!!! Well, close enough anyways. We made it work. Last year, when we didn't have snow, we went caroling to a few friends in our area and caught them opening gifts. It was so fun that we decided to do it again this year and add some people to our route. It was such a blast! Years form now I probably won't remember what I got for Christmas but I will remember sledding and caroling for sure!

This past week FLEW by and I was kind of caught off guard by the fact that 2012 was coming to an end already. Once again I had tons of memories come to me as I remembered being little and going to varies peoples homes for New Years Eve. Such good times! This year we celebrated a "Southern Georgian Island new year" for the second time. The Southern Georgian Islands are the only mass of land that are 3 hours ahead of us so since we have little kids we celebrate with inhabitants of the islands. Of course, since there are no inhabitants of the islands (except for seals and penguins) all the traditions we come up with cannot be disputed. So we celebrate by eating frozen grapes and barking like a seal at midnight (which was actually 9). Aunt Jadi, Colette, and a majority of the Olanbuddies: Hannah, Brad, and Cody came to celebrate with us while the Pattersons joined us via Skype.
Then Colette, Cody, Ben, and I ran around the house as the clock struck midnight (Michigan time) instead of watching the ball drop.

It was fun to just chill, watch some football, and relax today. Despite how much I have enjoyed all the crazy running around I've been doing the past few weeks it has been nice to just chill at home for a few days here. Take time to catch my breath and enjoy the little things again. I need to stop and do that more often! As much as things have changed over the years, as much as people, traditions, and memories will continue to change, my God will never change!!! I take so much peace and rest in knowing that He remains the same yesterday, today, and forever!

Happy New Year everyone!